


hope vs dark lord

by orphan_account



Category: NicoB - Fandom
Genre: Crack Crossover, Intentionally Bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 19:04:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5260142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>NicoB and Nanako are home when the Deus ex Machina decides to fuck everything up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hope vs dark lord

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for this abomination.

October 4th, 20XX  
How could Nico describe Nagito Komaeda in simple words? Well he could do a hefty talk about his fucking burning hatred for the boy, you could just watch his Dangan Ronpa letsplay, or you could just think of a fruit that tastes great when frozen in chocolate.  
Anyways how could he describe his platonic love (not romantic you sickos) for Nanako? She was like a little sister, and if she died again Nico would probably die. Literally he would just fucking die, Nanako Dojima deserves better.  
It was Nanako’s birthday, she was supposed to have a party however. Mr. Dojima fucked up real bad and got the late shift and forgot the cake. So it was delayed to the next day, now they just kind of sat awkwardly in the living with decorations that would’ve been fun and exciting if disappointment wasn’t filled in the small goobers heart.  
“Hey Nanako,” Nico could not disappoint this child even futher. If he did he’d probably just have to punch himself in the face, or just do it multiple times, he couldn’t live with himself if he did that.  
“How about we go-“ His sentence was cut off, by my personal friend Deus Ex MachiNagito Komaeda. The front door was kicked down, by that ugly brown shoe with its two zippers, slowly with each footstep full of bullshit. Taking his pale ass hand out of his disgusting green jacket with those ugly patterns, he might as well be a god damn Christmas tree.  
He gave a little wave with a smug face, Nanako did not show any bit of reaction. While Nico looked into the camera like he was on The Office. It was complete utter bullshit, he had no words for Komaeda, other than a harsh.  
“Get the fuck out of my house.” Actually Nico this isn’t your house, but he can’t hear me so whatever.  
“Do you think such pesky words would make me fallback? I, have come here on a mission for hope, the worlds salvation, if I were to die here I’d be forgotten... If I can complete my goal I might be a footnote in history as a great messiah, maybe a stepping stone for the future.”  
“In English please?” Nico asked, what the fruity fuck did that mean? This guy should be dead! These worlds don’t overlap! Wrong universe Komaeda! Stay in your own series you asshole!  
“I’m here to kill the darklord, the one whos name starts with an ‘N’ and I know they are in this room…!” Well Komaeda Nagito, boy do I have news for you everybody in that houses name started with an N.  
Nanako Dojima, Nagito Komaeda, NicoB.  
Nico couldn’t believe it, he couldn’t be a dark lord! That’s bullshit! That kind of stuff doesn’t exist in this world, and Nanako was such a pure little kid she couldn’t be a satan lord! So it had to be Nagito…!  
“I see, so you’ve found me Messiah of The White Light, Komaeda Nagito!” Nanako stood up twirling her hand, a dark smoke cloud arose barring a giant sword with a long black blade, “No matter how many worldliness I cross to avoid you, it seems you will always come back… You seriously are one obnoxious cockroach.”  
Okay, so scratch that.  
Nagito laughed at the feeble child, arrogant indeed, from his pocket there was a bright light. A small silver dagger, compared to the giant sword it was kind of lame? Like Nanako had this badass sword that was half her height and he had this little glowing knife? Seriously you could do better Komaeda.  
“Um.” Nico couldn’t really grasp the situation that well. He made a noise that expressed his confusion and put his hands up, he just did not understand.  
“Wait! Big bro, come to my aid! I will explain everything soon, if we were to fall here, you would never remember your past self!” Any trace of the cute little girl was mostly gone, her cute button brown eyes were a glowing red surrounded by pitch black instead of the white that surrounded the eye. And she had large horns, they truly were demonic, but aw they had cute little bows on them! How adorable!  
“Do not listen to her! If she were to trick you, this world will fall into ruins! Nico believe in me!” Komaeda’s face showed desperation, Nanako took advantage of Komaeda being distracted to charge forwards swinging the demonic sword.  
He barely had enough time to dodge, thanks to his bullshit powers he managed to escape unscathed. Nice.  
“Hmph, I expect nothing less of you Harbinger of The Apocalypse, Nanako Dojima!”  
He was able to come to this world while she was still developing, therefore Komaeda had an advantage of being fully grown. Plunging the holy dagger into Nanako’s arm.  
She made a whimper and looked towards Nico, “Big Bro! Help!” As Nico went forwards to stop Komaeda he hesitated at the voice of the boy who was very bananas.  
“Nico, you cannot, join my side and we can stop her! With your protagonist’s luck, and my bullshit luck we can defeat the Dark Lord for sure this time!”  
“Big Bro! Please, what he brings is false salvation… He’ll surely destroy everybody by his own powers or not…!”  
They both yelled in synch, “Choose a side!”  
NicoB, he looked at Komaeda with teary eyes, a man long broken. And raised his hand.  
Turning it into a middle finger, “Haha, fuck you Komaeda!”  
Nico gave a roundhouse kick to the smug motherfuckers face. He hated that bastard with the devils luck so much! He felt! So happy! Doing this! He couldn’t express his joy!  
Nico and Nanako teamed up, fatally injuring the boy with lots of stab wounds and punches leaving the bringer of white light or whatever to his demise. In his last minutes he laughed.  
“Ha… Ha, do you… think… this will… stop me? I’ll… come back…” He pulled something out of his pocket much to the alarm of Nanako and Nico.  
. . .  
. . .  
. . .  
It was a bagel. He had a fucking Bagel in his pocket and it was perfectly intact. He put it to his face, shedding tears, and gave it a kiss.  
And he died lol, get rekt komaeda.  
“Big bro, I’m sorry you had to see this… I want to make this right. I wish to save you from the sorrow of this worldline therefore, I will move to the next. I am kind of concerned though, if he would return. His bullshit powers don’t stop even in death… So Big Bro.”  
“See you! Love you!”  
Everything ended in a flash and very abruptly in fact.

NEW WORLDINE, MT. Ebbot 20XX  
As the small child walked towards the hole, they couldn’t understand the overwhelming sense of doom they felt. As if something bad was going to happen while they weren’t looking.  
As they peeked down at the hole, on the very edge, they felt a tap on their shoulder. They turned around, alarmed. And saw a man with white hair with a smile, that just reeked of despair.  
He chuckled at the kid, “You know, karma really sucks.” That’s when the girly hand with its red finger nails gave the kid a gentle push and down they went into that giant hole.  
Komaeda couldn’t help but laugh, that kid was surely going to die down there. Nothing he could do but pray they did and prevent a shitty battle, as he walked down the mountain with his phone, dialing up a number.  
“Hey Judge, sorry I’m going to be late. But wanna go to the Turkey Bagel shop today?”


End file.
